Only for today.

1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.

3. Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.

4. Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.

5. Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.

6. Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.

7. Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.

8. Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.

9. Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.

10. Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12 hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.

Je vais vivre ma vie

Things to be thankful today

* options! Options, options! (Haha!)

* a satisfied client with my design for wedding invitations (I really hope so)

* songs of healing

* yummy breakfast

* Joker, our house dog (she's really cuddly)

* coffee

créer votre bonheur.

Sweet

I was in this beautiful place with friends around nighttime when suddenly they surprised me with a very creative gift (or probably it was a gift for all of us there).

me: Oh my.You remembered our conversation. I never thought you were sober that time. Haha!

KF: Hey! I was. The tequila wasn't that strong and we only had a few. And you know I always remember things.

me: You shouldn't always give me things. It's becoming too much.

KF: No, no. Let me do this. Allow us to do this. We wanna do this.

me: I cannot repay these things you're doing for me. Besides, I'm the one who should be doing this, not you.

KF: You've been through a lot. I know I would never know how it felt like. But, as far as I'm concerned, I wanna make you feel better. We wanna make you feel better.

me: Well, in this case, it's only me who can take care of me. I'm just happy to be with around you guys. You're already a plus in my healing.

KF: You should stop with this debate because I made up my mind. I'll try my best fixing you. I wanna fix you.

me: (giving up on the argument and smiling) Thanks.

I promise it will pass.

I read this entry somewhere and I'd like for my friend to read this (I think this is for me too). An assurance that everything will pass.

“Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.

You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.

Breathe and know that you can survive this too.

These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass.

Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.

I know it’s unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again.

This will pass. I promise it will pass.”

Je vous promets qu'il va passer

Nothing to Post

the four most stylish an fashionable TV characters. Chuck Bass (played by Ed Westwick), Blair Waldorf (played by Leighton Meester), Serena van der Woodsen (played by Blake Lively) and Nathaniel Archibald (played by Chace Crawford).

"There is something about fashion that can make people really nervous." - Anna Wintour

Things to be thankful today

* wi-fi

* my laptop repaired (Thank God, my files)

* my phone repaired (I have BB back!)

* the clean sheets

* coke

espérer. la seule chose qui compte.

I was a terrible believer in things,but I was also a terrible nonbeliever in things. I was as searching as I was skeptical. I didn't know where to put my faith,or if there was such a place,or even what the word faith meant, in all of it's complexity. Everything seemed to be possibly potent and possibly fake.

Wine Tasting Tips

For people who want to learn about wine. :D Enjoy.

Things to be thankful.

* a great mom

* wi-fi

* good laugh

* comfortable conversations

* cold drinks and great alcohol

* good friends

* music

Il ya une reunion.

Foodie: CUPCAKES

For cupcake whores, here are few of cupcakes I find really delicious. They also have easy to do recipes. Enjoy.

Spectrum - Florence + The Machines (Calvin Harris Remix)

Wanna dance with this music. :)

Things I want to do.

I want to know what passion is again. I want to feel something strongly.

I want to change the world. But first, I still need to change myself.

I want to let it be.

I want to take the leap. To jump high and hard with intention and heart.

I want to be healed.

I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud.

I want to eat cold mangoes, and sing out loud in the car with windows open while travelling.

I want to stay up all night and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now.

I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets.

I want to throw parties.

I want to eat ripe tomatoes while reading books so good they make me jump up and down.

I want to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.

Je vais faire ce que.

Random Things.

1. When I used to be in my schooling age, I'd rather wake up than sleep. Now, I really know how important it is to sleep. And I mean it isn't only healthy for the physical body but I realized it revitalizes your emotional and spiritual perspectives in life after waking up.

2. I usually have this thing of copying the calligraphy of a person I always hang out with.

3. Ever since I learned how to read, I never used reading as a tool for studying. It has always been a principle of me that reading is a recreational activity and not a routine (not unless you actually find studying a recreational activity). So yeah, I read a lot of books for fun.

4. Whenever I'm on my way to watch a horror film with family or friends, I make sure I bring something with me to hide with it in the movie house.

5. I would slap my friends' faces after having a really good laugh (to the point of crying) because of a superstition our family believes.

6. I am a hemophobic; to the point of getting easily agitated and having panic attacks with injuries (and I think pain too).

7. Me and my friends rode this octopus ride in a carnival during a festival in the city. After the ride, one puked and the other two were so dizzy. Of course I was okay but was damn fidgeting. We were all laughing during the aftermath.

8.  I would laugh real hard everytime I see my mum angry and talk really fast. You would barely understand the words coming out of her mouth. I would mimic her and We end up laughing. Sometimes I use it for her to calm down from her "huh?" resentment.

9. Karen Walker's humor is the best. Me and my two uncles would laugh real hard at her.

10. I think Blair Waldorf should be an icon.

11. Every time I'm about to sneeze, my conscious mind would really tell me to try and open my eyes (even if we all know we cannot do that).

12. I'm not a good joker. My punch lines are lame.

savez qui vous êtes

Things to be Thankful Today.

* white sand beach.

* good friends.

* wi-fi on the beach (so you can watch NBA Finals)

* good laughs.

* the breeze.

* and a whole lot of love.

amusez-vous avec la vie.

My Really Crazy Sister

It's the second week since my sister entered her college life. She chose the program she thinks she's really good with. She even said, "I think interacting with people is my best strength kuya. Kaya I will be taking up Human Resource Management when class starts." Well, I've supported my sister with her plans so I don't think it's a bad idea.

my sister, Mira and me

Mira and her gullible manliligaw (I forgot the term)

She was really frustrated upon knowing that she still needs to take subjects / courses she already took when she was in high school. She said confidently, "feeling ko kuya, chicken nalang yan. Natutunan na namin yan in high school eh." Ironically, when we were watching tv and having short talks, she blurted out, "Alam ko na gud the tagalog of briefs and panties. Its SALUNGGUHIT and SALUNGGANISA."

Me: "GAGA! Your professor was joking!"

Uncle Don: "That's a joke ui!"

Auntie Helen: "(with a shocked face) Anong subject yan, Lipa (her nickname)?"

ugh, crazy. She completely thought her professor was serious about it.

I got hit by this.

“I’m going to tell you what a demon once told me: It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. It’s okay to do what’s healthy for YOU.

When someone hits you, it’s okay to hit back and then ask them what the hell they expected. It’s okay. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you.

You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to say “That was shitty of you”. You have a right to say “Let me feed that back to you; tell me, how does it taste?” You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions.

The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.

And it’s okay.”

Laissez-moi sortir.

A thought.

"Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can't cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It's just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal."

- Cheryl Strayed

tout ira bien

Things to be thankful today.

* The thought that how my friend, Ben has changed for the better. He used to be this quiet guy whom you could not hear a word in a conversation. Now, he's really outspoken (I mean REALLY).

* long and heart-warming conversations in a very comfortable place.

* good friends.

* work!

* craziness

continuer à vivre

On Cheating.

Last night, I eavesdropped on a couple in downtown (or so it was). The man actually caught his lover cheating on him. I think they were on the verge of breaking up. Poor man. He was played.

"F*ck you for cheating on me. F*ck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he'd gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. F*ck you. This isn't about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives.You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something; and you killed it when its back was turned."

Je vous l'avais bien dit.

What If?

What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I'd done something I shouldn't have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn't do anything differently than I had done? What if heroin taught me something? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn't have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?

Je m'interroge

A thought.

"Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.

... The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherf*cking shit out of it."

- Cheryl Strayed

Je vais aller de l'avant.

Expressive mom.

I woke up early morning hearing sounds from the tv. I realize it was mom watching. I thought she was watching her daily routine of KrisTV or her biased cheers for the Heat in the game 6 of NBA. 

She was watching this Thai film (Crazy Little Thing Called Love). What's more, mom as usual, was crying with the movie. It was the part when the girl protagonist and her three friends were singing together and was able to fix their friendship after being separated because of having a new clique.

No matter how many times I see mom cry because of an emotional scene from a movie, I always smile at her and say, "it's always refreshing to see you cry with the movie, mom. I can feel you being happy." This always gets her and cries even more. I end up laughing hard; but seriously, I love my mom.

l'amour d'une mère

Good to be back.

Well, I'm back blogging (or is it of another term). I wanted to blog again because this is one of the few things I know worth my time.

My life for the past year has been in a bit of a taciturn. I have been away from most of the people I love because of some gregarious engagements. And I mostly regretted it. Kaya now, I wanted to change something not just for myself but for the ones I love. I want to be someone better so that I may become someone who is worth the love of people around me. I want to be happy.

Well, I actually started last night.

I want to regain the old me. I hope I can make it again. It's been quite a while since I wore this mask and I'm so much sick of it. I'm really tired and you know what, f*ck it. It doesn't matter anyway.

I apologize for the very reflective (or if you find it very personal) post. This should be the first entry so I wanted it with a bang!

Voir, ce n'est pas si mal du tout.