When Stars Connive with Ellen

Sofia Vergara

Dennis Quaid

Paris Hilton

Jennifer Aniston

David Beckham

Have fun!

Letting Go of Unfit Things

Well, being crazy sometimes can bring you a lot of things in your mind.

* Let go of the approval of others. Be yourself. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Display the image that imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

* Let go of anger and resentment. I have been trying to be forgiving and yet there were times in my life, whole years, when anger got the better of me, even now. Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in but it was cancer. It ate me and sent me to oblivion.

* Let go of the idea of a perfect partner. Throw away those standards you have. Find the person that you can love with all of your heart, not with the conditional preferences you have. One that you feel most comfortable with and accepts you as who you are; because not falling DEEPLY in love is like living no life. Falling in love is like getting hit by a truck and yet you're still alive. You're just sick to your stomach or some even call it butterflies. You become high one minute, low the next; starving hungry but unable to eat. hot, cold, forever horny, full of hope and enthusiasm, with momentary depressions that wipe you out. It is also not being able to remove the smile from your face, loving life with a mad passionate intensity, and feeling ten years younger. Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what's happening. It's inevitable. An event you can't control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course. You can't expect something like that from your checklist.

* Let go of the "perfect life." There is no perfect life. Life is what you make it. No matter what happens, you will eventually mess things up (who hasn't?); but at least you have free will and get to decide how you would mess it up, right? Make friends; but remember, people come and go. Be thankful to the ones who will stay with you through everything, they're your true best friends. Don't ever let go of them. Find your love; and they come and go too (trust me, most of them will.); but don't give up. You will find that one. It won't be called absolute happiness to find the half who makes you whole if you haven't struggled to look for him/her. Just because you failed once, doesn't mean you're going to fail at everything else. Believe in yourself because if not, who will then?

* Let go of the obsession of getting rich. I do not mean disregarding a realistic goal of exhaling yourself from monetary problems, but to stop letting money be your sole motivator. Appreciate the life you live and be grateful to every thing/person you have. Live each day by having daily goals in life and life long goals to hope for tomorrow.

* Let go of excuses and procrastination. Live in the present and get your shit done when it needs to be done. Maximize your time to the best of your ability. Complete each task as soon as you can. This allows you to feel free from worry and stress by getting out of things as soon as possible. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.

* Let go of your baggage. We've all been hurt one time or another by someone we loved, or we thought we've received love. Carrying this to future relationships will only be disastrous. The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move on because we were never in control anyway.

* Let go of expectations. If you expect nothing from anything and anybody, you're never disappointed. We always believe that we accept the love we think we deserve. Unfortunately, people and things around us will eventually mess up. If you spend your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, you would forget who you really are; that the face you showed to the world was just a mask and beneath it was nothing but nothingness. 

* Let go of insecurity and being judgmental. Why do we need to constantly worry about what is going on in other people's lives? Minding our own business would mean our lives being more meaningful. Besides, you won't be needing insecurity to be judgmental. Heck, you've had a share of pains and all but you made it through. You already have huge balls but at least you've been humbled and that will make you grateful for everyday you have; and I promise you it doesn’t even matter for others what you believe, how you live your life and how strongly you become for others. Somebody else, somewhere, thinks you are in the wrong. Somebody else, somewhere, thinks your beliefs are senseless or illogical. Somebody else, somewhere, thinks you have it all wrong. In fact, there are a lot of people in this world who do.

* Let go of Negativity. What you put out into universe will come back for you. Change that way of thinking and be grateful for everything you have and you will have more. Concentrating on what you do not have will never have enough. Keep your face toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. Just like what Mahatma Gandhi have taught us, "Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny."

Paulo Coelho's Like the Flowing River

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point he asked: "Are you writing a story about what we've done? Is it a story about me?" His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: "I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up." Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn't seem very special. "But it’s just like any other pencil I've ever seen!" 

"That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world." 

"First, you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will." 

"Second: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person." 

"Third, the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice." 

"Fourth: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you." 

"Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action."

en paix avec le monde.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Last night, I couldn't get myself to sleep since my energy was still on high with all of the things I have been doing during the day. I had a flight-roamed around-talked-roamed around-talked-flight. So, I bumped (not exactly bumped) into HBO with Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.

It is a very quirky feel-good romantic comedy that offers not only the cliche of romance but with a satisfying and surprising offbeat realization of life. It's a story of Britain's leading fisheries expert, Dr. Fred Jones (played by Ewan McGregor) is approached by a consultant, Harriet Chetwode-Talbot (played by Emily Blunt, a favorite) to help realize Sheikh Muhammed (played by Amr Waked) vision of bringing the sport of fly-fishing in the desert, he immediately thinks the project is both absurd and unachievable. But when the Prime Minister's overzealous press secretary, Patricia Maxwell (played by Kristin Scott Thomas) latches on to it as a "goodwill" story, the project seemed to have had a boost with the aide of the British government. As the desert is irrigated, so romance blooms, the salmon of love leaps in the river of emotion.

Alfred Jones, the fisheries expert at the center of "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen," faces challenges that are widely common for us. Jones has been going with the flow with his life and is afraid to take chances and a leap of faith. Though he's played by the effortlessly charming Ewan McGregor, Jones is as nearly as cold-blooded as the fish he studies.

His relationship with his wife, Mary Jones (played by Rachael Stirling), a sharp finance expert, never felt the conjugal bliss they have as a married couple and only saw it as a routine. It also seemed funny that when they made apathetic love, she made it look like Fred needed a certain amount of milk to nourish him or something saying, "That should do you for a while." Fred is like one of P.G. Wodehouse's characters, overmatched by life. "I don't know anyone who goes to church anymore," he says wistfully. "On Sundays we go to Target." (This really made me furious.)

Making this young fogey a viable romantic figure is the film's challenge and they overcame it along the story gracefully. Luckily, there is a clever screenwriter ("Slumdog Millionaire" Oscar winner Simon Beaufoy), a warm-spirited director ("Chocolat's" Lasse Hallström) and a favorite of mine and brilliant co-star (Emily Blunt) to lend a hand.

He is netted out of his government desk job by a bizarre research request. A sheikh wants to stock the Yemen River with North Atlantic salmon. The government, desperate for a positive human interest news story out of the Middle East, appoints Fred to the task. Fred's slow development and change of heart in the story was a struggle. As a viewer, you can actually feel the exhaustion with Fred being narrow with the idea and his absence of faith, and it's agreeable nonetheless.

The idea was "theoretically possible" just like "the theory of the manned mission on Mars was possible." At first, Fred did not have an interest or even a pinch of assuagement in working alongside the sheik's attaché, Harriet (Blunt), a lovely English rose with soulful eyes and a snippy sense of humor. For her part, she wonders whether Fred has Asperger's. But under the desert sun, a romance that looks fundamentally unfeasible becomes theoretically possible.

Kristin Scott Thomas proves herself a grand comedienne as the prime minister's press secretary who hatches the scheme, a tart, caustic conniver of imperial self-confidence. She is the sort of woman who could pick up her phone and have a hurricane canceled. She may be the scariest, funniest, most nuanced comic villainess since Meryl Streep wore Prada.

There are clever ideas in the film, like Fred's heart-to-heart talks with the koi imprisoned in his back-yard pond. And faith and the power of believing. The movie had so many contemplative and touching lines that you could actually feel the subtle weight of the movie and it actually felt good. The movie gave its purpose without actually giving the audience a hard time. While "Salmon Fishing" fritters away the comic momentum of its madcap opening chapters, it's like angling -- a pleasant diversion if you can look below the surface and muster the patience to appreciate it.

“Then in a moment, in that vast space of rocks and sky and scorching sun, I understood that he had not meant religious faith, not exactly. He was not urging me to become a Muslim or to believe in one interpretation of God rather than another. He knew me for what I was, an old, cold, cautious scientist. That was what I was then. And he was simply pointing out to me the first step to take. The word he had used was faith, but what he meant was belief. The first step was simple: it was to believe in belief itself. I had just taken that step. At long last I understood.

I had belief. I did not know, or for the moment care, what exactly it was I had to believe in. I only knew that belief in something was the first step away from believing in nothing, the first step away from a world which only recognised what it could count, measure, sell or buy. The people here still had that innocent power of belief: not the angry denial of other people’s belief of religious fanatics, but a quiet affirmation. That was what I sensed here, in this land and in this place, which made it so different from home. It was not the clothes, not the language, not the customs, not the sense of being in another century. It was none of these. It was the pervading presence of belief.

I believed in belief. I didn’t exactly feel as if I was on the road to Damascus, and I was aware I could not think straight because of the power of the sun, but now I knew what the Yemen salmon project was all about. It had already worked its transformation on me. It would do the same for others.”  -- Paul Torday, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Fave Men's Fashion Spring/Summer Collection 2014

The looks I loved during the Paris/Milan Fashion Week for Spring/Summer Collection of 2014.

Hermes. The Bohemian Soul - Hermes' creative director Veronique Nichanian took the French house' man in a relaxed style. Showcasing the hues of blues and silver with construction of simple articles of boat neck tees and unstructured blazers.

　



The House of Versace. Collaboration of Audacious and Versace - A mix of Versace's classics and the whim of modern man who loves to experiment.

 

 

Salvatore Ferragamo. Ferragamo Revision (Themes of Classical Antiquity) - merged with the references of 1930's for Massimiliano Giornetti's spring/summer 2014 for the Italian label. Circling around sports prowess and leisure of colors. Collection includes semi-structured coats, minimally fastened jackets, and available shorts.

 

 

A show I really love.

Since December, I got back in watching sitcoms and series that piqued my interest.

One series I really loved is Bunheads. It is a story of Michelle Simms (played by Sutton Foster - Tony Award Winner) a former ballerina (or bunhead) who wound up as a Las Vegas showgirl. A bit hopeless with her life, she decided to accept the offer of marriage of her consistent admirer, Hubbell Flowers (played by Alan Ruck). They moved to Hubbell's coastal town of Paradise in Southern California (a fictional town at that). Sadly, Hubbell was killed in a car accident leaving Michelle struggling to adjust to life in a small town and taught alongside with her mother-in-law, Fanny, at her ballet school: The Paradise Dance Academy.

from left to right: Melanie Segal (played by Emma Dumont), Boo Jordan (played by Kaitlyn Jenkins), Fanny Flowers (played by Kelly Bishop), Michelle Simms (played by Sutton Foster), Ginny Thompson (played by Bailey Buntain) and Sasha Torres (played by Julia Goldani Telles)

They are really fun to watch especially their snappy banters and fast-paced hilarious scenes. I mean, Sutton Foster and Kelly Bishop have the fast mouth and the talent to really pull it off; and the other main cast is also catching up with it. I enjoy its gleeful absurdities and its prodigious performances in a single continuous take.

It was a different kind of story from the usual genre we always watch on TV. We've already been bombarded with shows exhibiting over-the-top plot and from eccentric to blatant stories just to garner a much larger audience while in fact, it's not. There is a lot more than larger than life stories. There's searching for meaning in life and knowing your strengths; and that's what Bunheads is. It is the kind of story we don't see much on TV anymore because of how fantastic and ambitious TV has been in the last decade or so.

I got hit by a truck.

For the group I share my passion with, dancing.

Go on with your lives. Look back when we call for you. Take care guys!

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

danse

For my off the grid friends.

We've only been together again recently, and I have enjoyed much of my time with you guys. :D see you every MWF!

We always see our worst selves. Our most vulnerable selves. We need someone else to get close enough to tell us we’re wrong. Someone we trust.

nous accrochons.

For my threesome.

For the two friends I've always been with for the past two years (and past 5 years). I cannot fathom how or what I am now if it weren't for the two of you.

I had jumped off the edge, and then, at the very last moment, something reached out and caught me in midair. That something is what I define as love. It is the one thing that can stop a man from falling, powerful enough to negate the laws of gravity.

groupe de trois

For the people I love.

We've been through a lot. But know that you have and always been in my heart. Take care guys! I do miss you guys.

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when they are all ready. When they are ready to be gathered. The pieces who we are, we gather them and give them back in all the right order.

les gens que j'aime

A post for my high school friends.

It all started in the year 2004. We were all in second year high. It just went by with a flash. Now, we're already in our 9th year and counting. Take care you guys! See you soon.

This is how it works. I love the people in my life, and I do for my friends whatever they need me to do for them, again and again, as many times as is necessary. For example, in your case you always forgot who you are and how much you're loved. So what I do for you as your friend is remind you who you are and tell you how much I love you. And this isn't any kind of burden for me, because I love who you are very much. Every time I remind you, I get to remember with you, which is my pleasure.

testé par le temps.

Only for today.

1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.

3. Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.

4. Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.

5. Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.

6. Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.

7. Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.

8. Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.

9. Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.

10. Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12 hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.

Je vais vivre ma vie

Things to be thankful today

* options! Options, options! (Haha!)

* a satisfied client with my design for wedding invitations (I really hope so)

* songs of healing

* yummy breakfast

* Joker, our house dog (she's really cuddly)

* coffee

créer votre bonheur.

Sweet

I was in this beautiful place with friends around nighttime when suddenly they surprised me with a very creative gift (or probably it was a gift for all of us there).

me: Oh my.You remembered our conversation. I never thought you were sober that time. Haha!

KF: Hey! I was. The tequila wasn't that strong and we only had a few. And you know I always remember things.

me: You shouldn't always give me things. It's becoming too much.

KF: No, no. Let me do this. Allow us to do this. We wanna do this.

me: I cannot repay these things you're doing for me. Besides, I'm the one who should be doing this, not you.

KF: You've been through a lot. I know I would never know how it felt like. But, as far as I'm concerned, I wanna make you feel better. We wanna make you feel better.

me: Well, in this case, it's only me who can take care of me. I'm just happy to be with around you guys. You're already a plus in my healing.

KF: You should stop with this debate because I made up my mind. I'll try my best fixing you. I wanna fix you.

me: (giving up on the argument and smiling) Thanks.

I promise it will pass.

I read this entry somewhere and I'd like for my friend to read this (I think this is for me too). An assurance that everything will pass.

“Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.

You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.

Breathe and know that you can survive this too.

These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass.

Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.

I know it’s unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again.

This will pass. I promise it will pass.”

Je vous promets qu'il va passer

Nothing to Post

the four most stylish an fashionable TV characters. Chuck Bass (played by Ed Westwick), Blair Waldorf (played by Leighton Meester), Serena van der Woodsen (played by Blake Lively) and Nathaniel Archibald (played by Chace Crawford).

"There is something about fashion that can make people really nervous." - Anna Wintour

Things to be thankful today

* wi-fi

* my laptop repaired (Thank God, my files)

* my phone repaired (I have BB back!)

* the clean sheets

* coke

espérer. la seule chose qui compte.

I was a terrible believer in things,but I was also a terrible nonbeliever in things. I was as searching as I was skeptical. I didn't know where to put my faith,or if there was such a place,or even what the word faith meant, in all of it's complexity. Everything seemed to be possibly potent and possibly fake.

Wine Tasting Tips

For people who want to learn about wine. :D Enjoy.

Things to be thankful.

* a great mom

* wi-fi

* good laugh

* comfortable conversations

* cold drinks and great alcohol

* good friends

* music

Il ya une reunion.

Foodie: CUPCAKES

For cupcake whores, here are few of cupcakes I find really delicious. They also have easy to do recipes. Enjoy.

Spectrum - Florence + The Machines (Calvin Harris Remix)

Wanna dance with this music. :)

Things I want to do.

I want to know what passion is again. I want to feel something strongly.

I want to change the world. But first, I still need to change myself.

I want to let it be.

I want to take the leap. To jump high and hard with intention and heart.

I want to be healed.

I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud.

I want to eat cold mangoes, and sing out loud in the car with windows open while travelling.

I want to stay up all night and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now.

I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets.

I want to throw parties.

I want to eat ripe tomatoes while reading books so good they make me jump up and down.

I want to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.

Je vais faire ce que.

Random Things.

1. When I used to be in my schooling age, I'd rather wake up than sleep. Now, I really know how important it is to sleep. And I mean it isn't only healthy for the physical body but I realized it revitalizes your emotional and spiritual perspectives in life after waking up.

2. I usually have this thing of copying the calligraphy of a person I always hang out with.

3. Ever since I learned how to read, I never used reading as a tool for studying. It has always been a principle of me that reading is a recreational activity and not a routine (not unless you actually find studying a recreational activity). So yeah, I read a lot of books for fun.

4. Whenever I'm on my way to watch a horror film with family or friends, I make sure I bring something with me to hide with it in the movie house.

5. I would slap my friends' faces after having a really good laugh (to the point of crying) because of a superstition our family believes.

6. I am a hemophobic; to the point of getting easily agitated and having panic attacks with injuries (and I think pain too).

7. Me and my friends rode this octopus ride in a carnival during a festival in the city. After the ride, one puked and the other two were so dizzy. Of course I was okay but was damn fidgeting. We were all laughing during the aftermath.

8.  I would laugh real hard everytime I see my mum angry and talk really fast. You would barely understand the words coming out of her mouth. I would mimic her and We end up laughing. Sometimes I use it for her to calm down from her "huh?" resentment.

9. Karen Walker's humor is the best. Me and my two uncles would laugh real hard at her.

10. I think Blair Waldorf should be an icon.

11. Every time I'm about to sneeze, my conscious mind would really tell me to try and open my eyes (even if we all know we cannot do that).

12. I'm not a good joker. My punch lines are lame.

savez qui vous êtes

Things to be Thankful Today.

* white sand beach.

* good friends.

* wi-fi on the beach (so you can watch NBA Finals)

* good laughs.

* the breeze.

* and a whole lot of love.

amusez-vous avec la vie.

My Really Crazy Sister

It's the second week since my sister entered her college life. She chose the program she thinks she's really good with. She even said, "I think interacting with people is my best strength kuya. Kaya I will be taking up Human Resource Management when class starts." Well, I've supported my sister with her plans so I don't think it's a bad idea.

my sister, Mira and me

Mira and her gullible manliligaw (I forgot the term)

She was really frustrated upon knowing that she still needs to take subjects / courses she already took when she was in high school. She said confidently, "feeling ko kuya, chicken nalang yan. Natutunan na namin yan in high school eh." Ironically, when we were watching tv and having short talks, she blurted out, "Alam ko na gud the tagalog of briefs and panties. Its SALUNGGUHIT and SALUNGGANISA."

Me: "GAGA! Your professor was joking!"

Uncle Don: "That's a joke ui!"

Auntie Helen: "(with a shocked face) Anong subject yan, Lipa (her nickname)?"

ugh, crazy. She completely thought her professor was serious about it.

I got hit by this.

“I’m going to tell you what a demon once told me: It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. It’s okay to do what’s healthy for YOU.

When someone hits you, it’s okay to hit back and then ask them what the hell they expected. It’s okay. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you.

You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to say “That was shitty of you”. You have a right to say “Let me feed that back to you; tell me, how does it taste?” You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions.

The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.

And it’s okay.”

Laissez-moi sortir.

A thought.

"Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can't cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It's just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal."

- Cheryl Strayed

tout ira bien

Things to be thankful today.

* The thought that how my friend, Ben has changed for the better. He used to be this quiet guy whom you could not hear a word in a conversation. Now, he's really outspoken (I mean REALLY).

* long and heart-warming conversations in a very comfortable place.

* good friends.

* work!

* craziness

continuer à vivre

On Cheating.

Last night, I eavesdropped on a couple in downtown (or so it was). The man actually caught his lover cheating on him. I think they were on the verge of breaking up. Poor man. He was played.

"F*ck you for cheating on me. F*ck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he'd gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. F*ck you. This isn't about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives.You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something; and you killed it when its back was turned."

Je vous l'avais bien dit.

What If?

What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I'd done something I shouldn't have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn't do anything differently than I had done? What if heroin taught me something? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn't have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?

Je m'interroge